Deadlands: New Horizons

The Tales of Harold Benton

The Worst Patrons

The legendary bartender Harold Benton loves to talk to his customers and especially to his regulars. One day they ask him who the worst patrons he has ever had were.
Harry sighs and looks blankly into the distance.
“There was this one time where these two people walked in. They looked like twins. The guy decided that that night was the best night to get incredibly drunk and rowdy. I’m usually okay with them trying to pull some shit, but this guy was trying to talk to everyone in the bar asking for a job.”
He takes a pause. He looks pained as he starts to remember it more clearly
“He eventually worked his way to a guy who was minding his own business. They got into a small argument and they challenged each other to a shoot off. I hoped that would be the end, but they came back. The two guys and the sister all sit down at a table to eat dinner. As they get ready to leave I turn around and see a fucking bobcat in my bar with those three petting the thing like it was nothing. I yelped and the woman and the cat bolt out of the door.”
“The next morning during breakfast with another man who joined them, the woman was insulted by the man who wasn’t her brother. She decided it would be nice to slam her knife into my table and then spat into my eye. I was thankful when the three of them realized that they fucked up and left the bar.”
By this point everyone in the bar is silent as they are listening to the story. Everyone is in a trance.
“When they hadn’t showed up later that night I’d hoped that they were gone for good, but I wasn’t that fortunate. The two men came back and got a room.
The last I heard of them they were off to Salt Lake City. And I hope to god that they stay there.”


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